Over 2️⃣5️⃣Going on to 4️⃣0️⃣

 Disclaimer : This may be a long read, so stay with me 

Another year, another age... 

As I turn a year older this week, I came across an all-too-familiar a job vacancy that again cemented my age- and painfully so.

Ad read: "Candidates should be between 21-25yrs old".

Clearly, this my new age isn't the cute ones you blow up helium number balloons😅.

We are over 2️⃣5️⃣ bane! It's not dubbed "late twenties" anymore. 

As per African age standards, ndi mwaice to those older than me but can still not as young as the real young ama 2000s. Confusing? Let me elaborate. 

See at my big age, I should have:

1. Completed all components of education society seems "enough" (at least degree because I could scare away men if I'm too educated😅), 

2. Been married for 3 years, with at least 2 kids (30 is eyeing me😅)

3. Be financially independent (house, job, money car or thriving business)

4. Still be youthful, keep up with the latest fashion & lifestyle trends because why should I look like Banakulu Chali nelyo ndi mwaice😅

You need to have a status equal to your elders whilst acting your age. 

Societal expectations for the young African woman have us in a chokehold, pulling us back and forth in all sorts of directions- from tradition to modernity- in search of who we should be at such and such age...

The same society that makes it hard with the vibrant opportunities only for those between 18-25 yrs old? That won't allow you openly date below 25 but need you settled by 28? That warns you not to have too much because it emasculates you? 

This is why you see young women rushing for the finer things in life and older women wanting the younger things in life. 

You have to make it all work before you touch 30 or else all is doom by 40... There's simply no winning! 

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So have I hit my middle-but-not-so-middle age milestones?

Far from😅

I am a single mother with have no car, no job, a limping consultancy business and no house. I do have an education- but it's outweighed by all the prior "negatives" because I have no assets or life partner to show for it 😅.

Truth is, age shouldn't dictate who you are or where you are in life. Because life isn't a 10m sprint and you aren't Usain Bolt.

I have seen Gen Z's with the maturity and richesse of a 60yr old. I've seen 40yr olds act like toddlers. I've seen 98yr olds act like 98yr olds. 

How old you are isn't what counts. It's how much you're willing to become the best version of yourself that does.

While as it would mean I'm running out of time for some, Year 27 means I'm still capable of getting to where I imagined when I started at 17😌.

I'm not in a hurry, I will relish in all the pain, tears, joys, laughter on my way to Being Zaria the Great. 

No arms folded, I'm still going to work hard this year. And if we don't get it at 27, we still have till 40, yes?

Because ni vi life che. 

On Your Max (Marks😅)....

Disclaimer: This year I thought it better to run a blog than my mouth, so here we are! 

Welcome to Nivi Life Che 🍻! 

Here, I'll be saying all the things "better left unsaid" the way they SHOULD be said. And no, keep calm, this isn't the regular "unfiltered" blog...

 Rather it's just me airing my views on the different aspects of our lives... because at the end of the day- Nivi Life Che!

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It's already the beginning of the year- okay we're halfway down the 60 days of JanWorry😅- and I have heard (and read) more "How to start the New Year" manuals than I've seen credit alerts or job offers.

From vision boards to money-saving tips, it seems everyone is in a frenzy to kickstart and they're serious about it. We are all at the starting point of the race track and trust, we think we are all winners even before the race😅.

We are all "on your max" (read this as a Zambian toddler growing  in the 90's, thanks🤝🏿)

I am no pessimist but this "new year optimism" sometimes rubs me the wrong way. Because in more ways than one, it prepares the mind for bliss rather than fitness to weather all seasons.

Let's be real, no matter how positive we want to be, some of us have started "the year of great things" without stable incomes, with grief from the loss of loved ones, heartbreaks, bad financial decisions etc.

As goal-oriented as my vision board (haven't even started mine) can be, it doesn't guarantee or even prepare me for the many things that could go wrong during the course of the year nor what damage control would look like.

We are literally starting out a year with reveries of what could be than what it currently is. 

And what of those whose year already sucks? How do they navigate "the year of greatness" on cold floors, empty stomachs and sunken spirits?

What if we all just committed to doing better than the previous year. What if we were all just grateful to be alive in whatever condition the new year found us.

That's a better starting point, no?

To a better year🥂 and celebrating evey breath more than the achievements it brings..

Remember, nivi life che😌